Fetlife Review By A Dominatrix (Plus Some Alternatives)

I am a professional dominatrix and I get up to a lot in my dungeon however there is still a desire for me to find people who don’t know that about me and who just want to have casual sex with me. I found out about FetLife a while ago now and when I first joined I thought it was just horny people, exchanging pictures and never really getting anywhere with it, I didn’t think it was for me but before long I found my feet and I found out how to actually use the site to my needs and now I am here to tell you everything.

What Is Fetlife and Why Do I Use It Everyday?

Fetlife is the biggest online community where kinks come together and mingle. It’s a bit like Facebook but it’s for people who are horny and want to share their hidden kinks. Fetlife allows you to date, chat, exchange pictures, upload videos, upload pictures, list your kinks, give information about yourself and become friends with other kinksters. It also shows you events in your area and it allows you to see what others are saying about other members you may be interested in.

I use it as I love finding people to have casual sex with, I may be a dominatrix but I still have another life outside of my dungeon. I use it most days, I talk on there with other kinksters, I meet up with people, I attend events and I enjoy sharing some pictures every now and again. I have met some great people on there, people who you would walk past in the street and never know just how kinky they are.

I Still Love Casual Sex With Other Kinks (This is how I find them)

I love my job, being a dominatrix was made for me but sometimes I just enjoy hooking up with people who don’t know me and who don’t know my job. I hook up with these people without any expectations, I don’t need to perform, there are no strings and no pressure if things don’t go to plan. I am also just a normal female at the end of the day and I need casual sometimes very kinky sex just like the rest of the world from time to time.

Being able to hook up with people who don’t know me as a dominatrix helps me to really let go, have fun and not to sound big-headed but I often blow the minds of the people I sleep with, they are always so shocked at how good I am, I guess my profile is pretty tame.

What My Preference Is On Fetlife:

– I prefer straight males or bi couples, I always have the most fun with this preference and find it the easiest to hook up with.

-I enjoy reading through people’s kinks but I don’t often opt for people with huge kinks, I also try to avoid men who want to be submissive and men who want me to be incredibly submissive. It’s too much like being at work for me and I like to try something new, this doesn’t mean I don’t go for it but it’s fun to try new things.

-I like people who have got a few good comments and feedback from others.

– I look for people in my area, I don’t wish to travel for sex.

-I enjoy trying new things that I maybe haven’t tried before.

-Couples are my priority at the moment, I love joining in.

-I only go for people who have pictures on their profiles.

-I don’t go for people in my line of work, they must not have any involvement in the industry.

-I am happy to play with a woman on her own but it isn’t my go-to preference.

How I Use Fetlife (My Review)

Some people head onto Fetlife and message everyone they find interesting, some wait to be messaged, some just lurk around and observe and maybe they attend an event every now and again, everyone is different but this is how I use Fetlife.

I make sure my profile is up to date, making sure I alter my kink preferences from time to time, depending on how I am feeling and what I am looking for. I make sure my pictures are as close to reality as possible and I never use any of my dominatrix pictures. I will look for people in my area or at the very most a couple of miles away and then either message them or find that they message me. I ask to talk to people a little bit before meeting and when we meet I make sure we meet in a public space and there I decide if I like them enough to hook up with.

I don’t allow any pictures or videos but I may take pictures of the aftermath if there is a lot of cum or if there’s just something hot to snap such as a pair of wet panties.

If I really like a person I will give them my number and we can speak more fluidly on a messaging app, this is usually with couples as I find it takes them a while to be comfortable and sure they want to invite me into their relationship.

What it looks like inside (sneak a peak)

Inside it’s pretty dark, it adds to the whole mystique of the site. It’s easy to navigate and once you start using it for a while you will see that it’s actually pretty easy to use even if it does seem a little daunting, to begin with.

You can find people in your location by just choosing to explore and that’s where you will find the events get filtered to you and what’s upcoming in your city or town.

The Hottest Hookup From Fetlife (Story)

One hookup I will never forget and I am sure they won’t either is when I met with a couple who had never ever done anything like it before. We were talking off the website and on a message service on our phones and we hit it off, it was like talking to old friends. Both the male and the female were my type of people and we got along so so well.

I broke my own rule as they were from out of town but they were too cute to not break my rule for. We met up at a hotel they were staying at for a chat and to see if our friendship was as good in real life, they were really unsure about having a threesome as they didn’t want to change their relationship dynamic and I was really respectful about that. But as soon as I saw them it was like it was meant to be and I was so turned on and I knew they were too. They were so eager to use me in their bedroom but neither of them had ever had a threesome let alone let someone into their relationship. I am a professional so I knew all of the right things to do and say to make them comfortable back in their room.

Once we got undressed the sex was like nothing I have ever had before and nothing has beaten it yet. Both of them were ravenous and they made me cum so hard. The favor was returned and both of them were screaming at the top of their lungs in ecstasy, both of them totally let go of their inhibitions and both were performing for me and for themselves on a level I had never been at before. Everything was so intense and every touch was making us all tremble. We were all exhausted by the end of it, hours had passed and we were sweating and covered in sticky fluids. I have never ever experienced anything as intense again and I can’t wait for them to be back in town sometime so we can do it all again.

Sites Like Fetlife (Where I Find Hookups)

I love Fetlife but I also have a handful of other sites that I like to use too. Sometimes there is just nobody on Fetlife that I am into, this isn’t often but it can happen so below I have left you some of the other sites I frequent.


This site is more BDSM orientated by it allows you to find hookups in your area. The people on this site are usually into swinging, BDSM, different fetishes and more intense bondage. If any of these things sound fun to you, it’s a great place to hang out. I use this site when I am looking for something quick, intense and even sometimes if I just want a little dirty chat. The people are always friendly and accommodating and nothing goes unsaid, it’s a great place to hang and meet new people into what you’re into.

Adult Friend Finder

If you’re into swinging and casual hookups adult friend finder is great. I went to an event that was promoted on this site and it was amazing. I was a single girl so favored in the group but there were couples swinging right next to me as I shared their partners with other people. It was a great night and it wasn’t my only one. I also met a couple on there who were seasonal swinging professionals, we met up and she wanted to be cuckolded (cuckquean), I fucked her husband in front of her, screaming his name and humiliating her as she sat in the corner fingering herself, it was great.


If you have a kink, no matter what it is there will be someone on this site that has it too and who wants to help you fulfill that desire. It’s crammed with people like you who don’t shame, who understand and who are horny. There are so many different kinks out there and people willing to try them. I love this site for finding people who want to help me tick something off my bucket list or even just scratch a burning itch for a new kink that I have. For instance, I had an urge for some outdoor sex, I found the right person and we made it happen in a forest, popular with dog walkers.


Collaspace allows you to browse people in your country (rather than a city) and from there you can see detailed explanations and intros to these people. Most people are quite open and upfront, most people include pictures and you are able to message them easily. The site, however, is quite old and can be a little bit difficult to navigate at times.

Update: This site has gone a little downhill, it used to be a hub for loads of kinks and still is, however, their web designers have taken a break and it’s hard to create an account and make changes to an existing account, due to them not verifying the changes.


Exclusively for the BDSM, fetish, bondage and kink community, this is a dating site where you can meet others looking for love or hookups near you. It allows you to be quite specific about your location, preferences, what you’re looking for and about you. There are lots of people on this site and people aren’t shy about telling you exactly what they want and how they want it. If you’re tired of finding people who aren’t into whatever you’re into then it’s a great site to get you started.


BDSM hookup – Filled with people continuously posting and looking for specific hookups.

Cuckold – People sharing cuckold experiences and looking for cuckolds in their area.

BDSM kinksters – Redditors looking for people into certain kinks to play with.

Swingers – Swinging couples and singles looking for people to swap with and play with.


Meet, hookup and chat without any strings. It’s a great site crammed with singles and couples looking for a bit of fun without all of the usual niceties and drama. Explain what you want, find the right person and get straight down to it without any of the messing around. I enjoy fuckbook for real casual hookups when I just want to fuck and be gone.

BDSM Singles

A site crammed with singles looking for others to play with who enjoy BDSM and all things kinky. It’s a great site, however much like ‘CollarSpace’ it is quite old and can be a little tricky to navigate. Despite its age, it still is a popular site with many people on it looking for kinky hookups.

Ashly Madison (Wild Card)

Ashley madison is just a little wild card I thought I would throw in for the certain reader reading this. It’s a naughty site for people looking for a discreet hookup and more importantly an affair, whilst it’s not exactly kosher, it is fun to browse through and even roleplay on.

What Sites Will You Find Me On The Most?

I use Fetlife, Adult friend finder, and Fetish.com the most out of all of the sites I mentioned, I find I enjoy the people and I love how the sites work and navigate. I think they are really great for hookups, experimentation, and some naughty chat.

If you do find me on these sites feel free to message me but please don’t share my profile as I do this privately and not for work, I would really appreciate your discretion.

Do you want to hook up with me?

You can go to my Patreon (coming soon), where I shower you in humiliation, domination and provide you with your very own jerk off instructions.

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